Oh Baby!

Waiting for our bundle of joy...

I had started writing this post awhile ago, and never got around to posting it. Looking back on it, I want it to be something I remember and decided to finish. This Summer was a whirlwind of emotions in baby terms. Ryan and I found out we were pregnant after going into the Instacare because I was not feeling well. This was right after I had stopped using birth control and so we were excited and surprised to find out that it had happened so quickly! I really wanted to wait and tell our family in a fun and special way since this would be the first grandchild. While I was at Miss Utah with my mom and sister, she jokingly said something about me being pregnant, and I told her later that day that she was right! We were in the mall when this happened and we were both crying. I'm sure we were quite the sight to see. I told her that she had to keep it a secret and that we would tell my dad on his birthday in a couple of weeks. 

The next week we went to St. George to see my brother and new sister-in-law get married! It was a great vacation and it was so hard not to tell everyone that we were expecting. The day that we were heading home, my entire family (grandparents included) stopped at the Maverick to get gas. I then found out there that I was having a miscarriage. I had been lightly spotting the day before and was nervous, but this was the moment where I knew that it was a for sure deal. I came out of the bathroom crying and went to Ryan to tell him what was happening. He sat there and hugged me while I was wondering why this had to happen, and why in Maverick gas station with all of my family for that matter. My mom came up and began crying and hugged me as well, she knew without me saying anything what had happened. My poor dad had no idea what was going on and came and asked me if I was sick. I sadly had to break it to my dad right there and then that his little girl had been pregnant for two months and was having a miscarriage. I instantly felt so bad for not telling him sooner so that he could have not been so caught off guard. My big, strong dad had to sit down on the floor of Maverick so he didn't pass out. It was a lot to take in at one time. His birthday was only two days later when we were going to spill the beans! The rest of my family was quietly sitting back and not sure what was going on but didn't want to intrude. It was a difficult time for us and for our families, but one we got through together. 

My doctor had advised me to wait a couple of months before trying again (and emotionally we thought it was a good idea) , so I started taking birth control again. At the end of my month, nothing happened... I was a little concerned but thought maybe it took some time to get back on track. I decided to take a pregnancy test and was shocked to see it was definitely positive. I was shocked. I took another one and right away it showed positive! I bawled hysterically when I saw the positive just because I was so nervous that something bad was going to happen again, especially since we were supposed to wait. It wasn't quite the normal reaction a couple probably experiences when they find out they are pregnant.  After taking blood tests and ultrasounds, everything looked perfect and we felt much more at ease. I am now 37 1/2 weeks along and all is still well! We are SO excited for our little man and to start this new chapter in our lives. It was an adventure getting here that happened so quickly, but could not be more thrilled to see our bundle of joy in just a couple of weeks! :) My doctor thinks that baby boy will be close to his due date, if not over, since I am a first time mom and since I have not progressed yet. We have another appointment Thursday to see if anything has changed. I am fine with him coming anytime after Sunday (my family is on a cruise until then) so once Sunday hits, I'm bustin' out the walking shoes. :) I can't wait to be a mom and am sure the sleep-deprived future will be well worth the reward! I often worry about being a good mom and how life will be after the baby. I saw a quote the other day that reminded me that motherhood is what God gave us time for and it humbled me to remember how important this role is, and how grateful I am to get to learn and make mistakes in learning how to become the best mom that I can.